Aífe's Home Birth Story
Summary
First Time Mum
Surprise baby girl: Aífe Mackenzie Harvey
Weight: 9lb 12oz (4.425kg)
Planned home water birth, actual home land birth
Shoulder dystocia, hospital transfer after birth
Trigger warning: Mention of pain and trauma
why home birth?
I thought I should start by explaining why I chose a home birth with Aífe. It was quite early on when I made that choice, somewhere between 16 and 20 weeks as far as I can remember. I started to wonder if a home birth might be possible for me as I’d seen and heard of some really beautiful home births that become a shared experience with the partner. We also had some friends who had had a home birth, so it wasn’t a completely alien concept. At first I thought I couldn’t have a home birth because I was Rhesus Negative; but it turns out that despite that, I was still having a low-risk pregnancy and they could administer the Anti-D injection for baby at home. Harvey actually ended up being Rhesus Negative as well, so that eliminated the problem anyway!
The more research I did, the more I felt that either a home birth or birth in a Midwife Led Unit (MLU) would be right for me. That’s because I wanted to allow the birth to progress naturally, where possible, without any interventions. My reading and research showed that small interventions are more likely to cause further interventions resulting in emergency situations and traumatic experiences. I think there is absolutely a place for medical interventions and they are in many cases life-saving, but birth to me felt like something that could be natural. Saying that, with a home birth you still have many medical interventions available to you and baby; oxygen for if baby needs support at birth, the oxytocin injection to stop bleeding and prevent Post-Partum Haemorrhage, gas & air for some pain relief. It’s not like being completely alone by any means. It’s incredibly safe, and you have two midwives giving you their full attention the whole time — more than many women get in hospital.
Ultimately, my reasons for choosing a home birth were that I wanted Harvey to be really involved in the birth, I wanted the process to be as natural as possible, and I wanted to be in an environment that I felt completely relaxed. If you’re interested in home birth, I’d recommend doing your own research and you’ll find a lot of statistics and stories that will help with your decision.
birth story
26th October
Our story begins on 26th October. I was 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant and that day had been feeling very agitated and angry by all the many messages I was already receiving asking if baby had arrived, despite only being 4 days overdue! I went swimming with my mum and swam 30 lengths pretty quickly (for a very pregnant woman!), and then when I got home I took my dog for a walk up over the hill behind our house. That evening we watched Bake Off and my partner gave me a foot massage, then when I got into bed at 9.30pm the surges began. They were coming roughly three every 15 minutes. Though very mild (in hindsight!), I couldn’t believe things were happening and couldn’t really sleep at all! At 11pm, we decided to ring the homebirth team just to give them a heads up in case things ramped up in the night, then we both tried to sleep.
At 3am, I really felt like things were happening with the surges coming stronger though still three every 15 minutes, so we decided to call the midwives. They arrived around 4am, checked how things were progressing, but left at 7am as things petered off when they arrived and it was clear the surges weren’t consistent. Before they left, I decided to accept a vaginal examination which was actually a horrible, painful experience. My cervix was still quite far back so the midwife really had to dig deep to find it and I had to tell her to stop. I believe I was around 2-3cm at that point but my cervix still needed to move down. I was a little disappointed, though also quite glad the midwives had left as I felt I could really focus on labour better with just me and my partner present.
27th October
That day, we pretty much spent all day watching Downton Abbey and going for some short walks (in torrential wind and rain!) while the surges really started to build. They increased to 3 in 10 minutes, so at around 4pm, 12 hours after we’d last called the midwives, we decided to give them another call. I was so happy that the midwife on duty was my ongoing midwife, Rachel, who had been absolutely wonderful all throughout my pregnancy and so supportive of my wish for a home birth. The dynamic when she and Thea, the other midwife, arrived was so different to with the previous two midwives. They just let me get on with labour with my partner, listening in from the kitchen.
Things continued to ramp up and I think it was around 9pm that I decided to accept another vaginal examination. This one was much gentler and my midwife confirmed I was in active labour, around 5-6cm dilated. My waters hadn’t gone at this point but she said she could feel them bulging so suggested I try some contractions standing up to encourage them to burst. I did that for a little while and the intensity was definitely building, then eventually I got into the pool. That’s when things really ramped up. I started trying the gas & air and remember the pain becoming incredibly strong and wondering how long there would be to go. My waters burst when I was in the pool and I was excited that I might be able to start pushing soon.
The pain in my back and hips on every contraction became almost unbearable and at this point I started transitioning, thinking I couldn’t do it and questioning whether I needed to go to the hospital for further pain relief or a C-section. This was a really hard time for Harvey seeing me so tired and in so much pain, but the midwives really believed in me, knowing how close I was to the pushing stage. I also vomited at this point, which is often a sign that baby is close! I really wanted to start pushing as I couldn’t bear the contractions anymore but my body wasn’t ready. I was also feeling really tired at this point having been awake for over 24 hours. I remember lying down for a bit (which my partner says was actually a long time), but to be honest everything becomes a bit blurry after this…
28th October
The midwives knew I was close to feeling the urge to push so advised that I went to sit on the toilet. Getting upstairs felt so hard, but almost as soon as I sat down, I felt like I needed to push and we moved to the bedroom. I really thought the pushing phase would be quick (like in Call the Midwife when they push twice and baby is out!) but unfortunately that wasn’t the case for me. It took what felt like hours for Aífe’s head to come out. I literally pushed with every ounce of strength I had but she wouldn’t come and I was getting more and more tired. I remember feeling scared that I couldn’t do it and wanting it all to be over. On every push, the midwives (and Harvey who was both supporting me and watching) said that they could see more and more of her head but it was very slow.
Eventually, after almost an hour and a half of pushing, Aífe’s head came out. It was such a relief but then things got really intense as the midwives told me to get off the bed and lie on the floor on my back. I had done a lot of research so knew what was going on; the baby had shoulder dystocia. They tried the usual manoeuvres to get her to turn naturally, but eventually the midwife had to manually turn her to get her out. The pain was honestly excruciating and I remember them asking me to push but feeling like I couldn’t at all. But then she came and it was the most unimaginable relief. Harvey said it took around 10-15 seconds for her to breathe. though I don’t remember that and just remember my midwife bursting into tears when she finally did cry and realised how stressful the situation must have also been for her. Aífe weighed 9lb 12oz, much bigger than any of us imagined and perhaps explains why my labour was so long and intense.
Due to the shoulder dystocia, the midwives asked to give me the oxytocin injection to allow the placenta to be delivered because of the risk of PPH. At this point I just wanted everything to be over so I accepted, though I remember being in a lot of pain from the injection and shaking. I could barely hold Aífe but was grateful that Harvey was next to me holding her and doing skin to skin.
Aífe was born at 3.23am, and by 6am we were being transferred to the hospital which is advised for babies with shoulder dystocia so they can check for any nerve damage. Though we were all very sure that she was fine, we decided to accept for peace of mind. I somehow managed to shower and get changed to go to the hospital. I remember the journey being quite horrible as I really felt awful at this point, but feeling glad I didn’t have to do this in labour! Everything was fine in hospital and we eventually were able to leave at around 3pm (I think!). I was so glad to go home and be with my partner and baby girl. I felt like I missed out on some of the initial bonding with her due to everything that happened, but was just so grateful that everything was ok and to the amazing midwives who were on hand to make sure it was.
3 months on
Three months later, I do still think about Aífe’s labour quite a lot. I’ve often wondered why my labour was so long and difficult, and I’ve also wondered what could have happened if the shoulder dystocia hadn’t all been ok. I’ve already considered what my next birth might be like and realise I’ll probably have some level of trauma to work through before then.
Though ultimately, Aífe’s birth was positive, I did find the birth incredibly intense and not the magical experience I had envisaged or hoped for. I feel I was very well-prepared for birth (I read books, listened to endless podcasts and did the Positive Birth Company course), but I do remember still feeling fear when I was in labour due to the intensity of the contractions and not knowing how long they would go on. In hindsight, I wish I’d been able to block those thoughts out and just focus on the moment — something I hope to be able to work on before having another baby.
Something else worth mentioning is that I had a very quick recovery from birth and ended up without any tears or stitches. I think this was partly due to the length of my labour which gave my body time to stretch without tearing (from what I understand, quicker labours often result in worse tearing). Some women have easy pregnancies, quick labours but perhaps a difficult recovery; others have difficult pregnancies, hard labours but maybe recover quicker and find breast-feeding really easy. What I’m trying to say is, I think in a way, it all kind of balances out — between pregnancy, labour and the post-partum period — and those struggles, as well as overcoming them, is what binds us as mothers.
Ultimately, though Aífe’s birth was hard, it is also incredibly special looking back because it is our story; the day my daughter came into the world and now I am bursting with love for her, I feel so grateful for how it turned out. Those hours of labour brought me the greatest joy of my life and I would do it all again for her.